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True freedom from complaining is when the impulse to complain no longer arises. Without that habitual pattern, something else fills the void—in my case, a focus on what I need to do.

What is complaining? I’ve heard countless times in videos and audios: “Don’t complain.” So, I thought, fine, I won’t complain. But considering that millions of people—and society as a whole—are conditioned to complain, and my own negligence, lack of discipline, and insufficient effort in this area, I found myself slipping back into the habit repeatedly, staying in it for who knows how long. Then, one day, I questioned: But what actually is complaining? I heard I shouldn’t do it, but what is it?

Here’s what I’ve observed so far:

Imagine needing to go downstairs to retrieve something you forgot, or the light not working upstairs, so you have to go down to turn it on from the ground floor with another switch. This unexpected extra effort irritated me, and I cursed—that single word curse is a complaint, a reaction of dissatisfaction to putting in energy I didn’t anticipate. Similarly, at work, people constantly complain about their jobs. In that case, complaining is merely verbalizing dissatisfaction or discontent. But it’s futile; it gives the illusion of asserting a rebellious stance, a verbal revolt, but does not change anything. Many choose to apply for, interview for, and accept a job, yet complain endlessly about the work, the weather, the pay, the workload, the boredom—a series of empty, meaningless revolts. Dissatisfaction with the outcomes of one’s own decisions.

I realized that this thought pattern is an unhealthy mental virus that many accept and even defend, a conditioned response that’s almost automatic. I don’t indulge it anymore, though sometimes my brain reacts with a fleeting curse when things go wrong. I don’t go too hard on myself, however, when it happens; I see it as just an automatic reaction that’s been conditioned and indulged for years. It’s not intelligent—it’s just there. Society today is full of passive, undisciplined minds—people allow themselves to spend or eat impulsively, conforming to desires that lead them to pursue a never-ending spiral of pleasure, completely forgetting themselves and their future in the process.

Many passively accept complaining and other unhelpful mental patterns without wanting to change, identifying with them as if they’re part of who they are. In fact, many people identify so completely with their desires, complaints, wants, and dislikes that they think that’s who they are. But that’s their personal matter. I have no power nor desire to change anybody but myself. People decide whether to listen or not, knowingly or unknowingly. Whatever they choose in life, I am unconcerned; I am only responsible for myself and my own actions and words.

Over the last year, I’ve revolted against these internal habits. Some might say I’m at war with many of them, bringing unconsciousness to light through awareness and self-observation; I won’t let them have their way anymore. Speaking of one of them, I refuse to complain because I see what it really is—meaningless verbal dissatisfaction that weakens the mind by wasting energy on words instead of actions. I am responsible ultimately for where I am and why; there’s no point in complaining about any of my circumstances. Every choice—my job, my lifestyle—is the outcome of all my decisions, made consciously or unconsciously, and reaffirmed every day. I sacrificed financial wealth, choosing a part-time job to invest time in improving my skills. Although the money is little, I know that it is my daily decision to be in this situation. Complaining goes against me and any of my purposes, and I’ve come to realize that a strong mind does not complain. I either act and make a change or understand why I accept things as they are without the slightest shadow of complaint.

The battle is with clinging to comfort zones, laziness, or the fear of the unknown. I refuse to comply with this widespread, accepted virus of complaining. I just can’t do it anymore. I cannot allow it to be. I am responsible for every part of my life; as someone once said to me, “I’m not a tree—I can use my body and move if I don’t like my whereabouts.”

Of course, changing this habit of complaining is possible, but I believe it is only so if one truly wants to change. Now, more than ever, I find my mind reacting less with automatic complaints and more with a movement of action: What can I do about this, or will I accept it as it is? If so, then why? And if I choose to leave it as it is, is there perhaps something deeper I’m afraid of facing?

I found that sometimes, though useless and unfulfilling, complaining is easier because taking action might force me to confront my fears. So then, how do you deal with that fear? And what is this thing called fear in general, actually? But I won’t delve into the nature, structure, or origin of fear here, as that is a topic far deeper than this article can cover.