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In this article, I explore the relationship between words, understanding, and communication. First, I discuss the limitations of language: how words, though essential for communication, are mere symbols that point to, but are not, the realities they describe. This leads to the issue of miscommunication, especially when abstract concepts are involved.

Next, I point out the superficial way wisdom is often consumed, particularly on social media, and highlight the importance of truly grasping the essence behind words. Finally, I delve into listening— how genuine communication requires focused attention, a willingness to step into the speaker’s perspective, and the ability to let go of one’s own prejudices and opinions.

This is a reflection on how we use words, interpret their meanings, and either connect with others—or fail to do so.

Words Are Not the Thing Itself

Words are essential tools for communication, yet they are not the realities they represent. The word “tree” isn’t the tree itself, just as the word “anger” isn’t the actual sensation it points to. Words are signposts—pointers to real objects, feelings, and concepts—but not the things themselves. (Yet, I’ve seen people focus solely on the words, completely disregarding what they are supposed to convey. In such instances, I believe no real communication takes place at all.)

This distinction became clear to me early on. I found out many times that miscommunication often arises when people use the same words with different meanings in mind. For concrete terms like “tree,” the meaning is generally understood. But abstract words—like “derealization” or “meditation”—are far more ambiguous. These words are like bags of definitions, holding varied interpretations depending on who uses them.

It’s no surprise, then, that debates can devolve into conflicts where neither side truly understands the other. Both parties may be using the same word but attaching different meanings to it, creating a false sense of agreement or unnecessary discord. Unfortunately, schools rarely teach us about this phenomenon, leaving us ill-prepared for meaningful communication. Then again, school systems are hardly ever known for teaching us how to navigate life or understand ourselves—but I digress.

The Superficial Consumption of Wisdom

This focus on the words themselves extends to how one may consume knowledge, particularly on social media. Platforms like Instagram are flooded with quotes and advice: “Always stay calm, never act in anger.” I feel people often latch onto these phrases, repeating them like mantras without grasping their actual meaning.

How can one truly understand advice like “never act in anger” without first exploring and finding out for oneself what anger really is, how it operates? Not the dictionary definition, but the visceral experience—its sensations and consequences. Yet, I feel in today’s fast-paced world, wisdom is treated by the looks of it like fast food: quickly consumed and just as quickly forgotten. The platform is designed to scroll through posts, acknowledge their superficial truth for a mere second, save it, comment on it, like it or share it, and move on.

Diluted, hollow wisdom—a copy of a copy of a copy. I say memorizing quotes isn’t enough; what matters is understanding the essence behind the words, not the words themselves. Without this effort, whats the point of engaging with them at all?

Communication: Listening Beyond Words

Understanding, to me, is rooted in how one listens. Passive listening—where words are merely heard—is not the same as truly engaging with the speaker’s meaning. Active listening requires the brain’s energy, a state of attention. Paying attention—to focus one’s mind’s energy on the speaker, illuminating the meaning behind their words. Without it, I’ve found that the mind becomes like a brick wall—impenetrable, with words either bouncing off uselessly or being transformed and interpreted according to one’s own mental content.

Too often, we listen only to respond, eager to push out our own thoughts, which we believe are right or correct. Or we get preoccupied with forming opinions, defending them, or interpreting what the other is saying. But interpretating is not listening. I’ve being doing this myself, interpreting—unfortunately more often than I remember.

True understanding demands effort and attention. For example, in conversations with a dear friend, I’ve realized that simply saying “I understand” isn’t enough. To truly confirm my understanding, I paraphrase what I believe they meant. Only when they respond with, “Yes, that’s exactly it,” can I be certain I’ve grasped their point.

To listen is to set aside one’s own thoughts and biases—one’s fears, self-centrism, likes, and dislikes—stepping into the speaker’s perspective. It’s almost like embodying their mind: letting go of internal chattering and confusion to truly grasp their point of view. When this happens, when the full act of listening takes place, I’ve found glimpses of sensing the content and state of one’s mind through their words and behavior (as listening also implies observation). We reveal far more than we realize when we speak. But what the absolute state of listening is, I still do not know. I haven’t discovered that for myself as of yet.

In Summary

Words will always be limited. They are signposts pointing to real experiences, but they can never fully capture the entirety of any experience or even the entirety of any object. I’ve observed that one common reason for miscommunication is when people use the same words with different meanings, particularly in discussing abstract concepts.

Regarding wisdom on social media, I see the modern trend of posting it often reduced to empty words. But it doesn’t have to be this way. The meaning beneath words can be uncovered—if the mind is willing to pursue the deeper truths behind them.

To understand is not to interpret or to remain preoccupied with one’s own prejudices and beliefs. It’s not about attachment to words or the meanings we assign to them.