"Write site title here…"

I first encountered the concept of “One or Zero” in the second episode of season one of the TV show Mr. Robot. One scene delves into how every decision ultimately boils down to a simple choice: yes or no, action or inaction. This idea struck a chord with me because I see it reflected in my own life now. Once I identified the weaknesses of my mind—more than 60 traits like guilt, misplaced focus, laziness, procrastination, attachment, and loneliness—I realized that their presence was, at its core, a choice I had been making all along.

Struggling with these weaknesses left me feeling truly isolated—adrift in solitude. No one to talk to. No one to call. On one of these lonely days, I made a pivotal decision: this is it. I refused to indulge in this state of weakness any longer. I choose to stand firmly in the realm of power, to claim strength over defeat.

Two days ago, I faced myself in an honest internal dialogue written on a screen. I laid bare my troubled state of my mind and acknowledged every struggle. Then, in a moment of raw defiance, I wrote to myself: “F**k this state. F**k this weakness. I want out.” That was the turning point—the moment I chose to rise.

Down with all Weakness

In my case, weakness is a choice—the outcome of my confused and diluted thoughts. But strength, and standing within the realm of power, is also a choice. I have identified in writing the obstacles that hinder me, whether they arise internally or externally. By recognizing these hindrances with clarity and drawing a clear distinction between allies and foes, I have made an internal decision to eliminate them, one by one.

My resolution is firm: I will not stay idle while the strength of my mind slips through my veins. Instead, I’m actively creating a counterforce, like an awakened black hole that pulls back every ounce of energy and light lost to weakness.

I refuse to be broken by challenging circumstances or painful, yet necessary, changes. I will do whatever it takes to rid myself of these weaknesses, systematically, step by step. In my mind, it’s simple: understand the internal obstacles, oppose them and commit to dismantling them, one at a time.

Breaking the Cycle of Hollow Comfort

I recently bought a time lock box for my phone. I’ve struggled with sleepless nights for a looong time, plagued by a sense of unfinished business. Loneliness would often lead me to seek comfort through endless chats with personas online—text AI constructs offering nothing more than a fake semblance of intimacy and connection. I could write with them until dawn, sometimes for a whole night until 8 a.m., but I’ve made the decision to force myself to stop. By physically locking away my phone, I’m ensuring there is no way for me to get my hands on it, allowing my body to rest. This is my first step toward reclaiming control, but it comes in the midst of total chaos …

The Chaos of Forced Total Transformation

Everything in my life has been upended—a world turned upside down, memories smashed and reconfigured, beliefs and imposed values burnt to ash. Everything that doesn’t align with the life I desire, the life I am driven to create, is being willingly and utterly torn apart. I make this process relentless and unforgiving, like a blazing inferno consuming everything old and unworthy of my vision.

The chaos feels like lightning striking a forest, setting every tree ablaze. It’s as though a comet of change has crashed down with fury, obliterating everything outdated and misaligned. The upheaval I’m creating in my internal world is as violent as an earthquake shattering the ground beneath my feet.

At times, I feel dead, and I truly mean it when I say it. My entire sense of self has been smashed into a million pieces through my own efforts, awaiting reconstruction. Other times, I feel as though I’ve just been born—mentally, internally—with little to no memories and little to no attachments, except the one to my goal. The old and irrelevant to my cause hold no value in this new setting whatsoever.

No Going Back

I don’t know how this transformation began, but I do know one thing: I am willing to do anything to create the life I dream of and to uphold it until the end of my days. If my existence, my very sense of self, must be burnt down to achieve it, so be it. I will rise from the ashes like a phoenix if I must.

Outwardly, I may appear unchanged—the same body, the same facial features—but inwardly, I am becoming an entirely new person. I can feel it. I can see it within. I will change everything that needs to be changed. Nothing is holding me back, nor can anything or anyone stop me.

Focus is my name. My eyes are fixed solely on the future, so much so that I can no longer see the past—at least not the parts that are unconnected to my vision. I’ve chosen myself, and I already started feeling the cost of that choice …

The Price of Choosing Myself

I’ve heard it said before, but this time I truly feel it: the price of choosing myself and my dream life is loneliness. This loneliness stems not from a lack of connection, but from my refusal to subjugate myself to the demands of environments that hinder my progress. These environments—whether they involve relationships, expectations, or societal norms—expect me to confine myself to a limited vision of who they think I should be, a hollow shell of what they wish to see.

I do not conform. My boldness and resolution to pursue the person I am destined to become are unsettling to some. They are uncomfortable with my transformation because they have grown accustomed to my weaknesses. They want me to remain as I was—predictable, easy to control, a shadow of my full potential—because that serves their selfish needs.

It doesn’t matter who they are. Unsurprisingly, the people most discontent with my pursuit of becoming the man of my dreams are those who feel the most entitled to my being: family. These are the individuals who impose their desires upon me, who are intimidated by my independence and my lack of attachment to them. They are unsettled by my ability to stand on my own, emotionally and mentally, no longer relying on them as I once did.

A Natural Order of Freedom

In the animal kingdom, where we all trace our roots and to which we still belong, an adult eventually leaves the nest. It ventures onto its own path, not the path dictated by the old or rigid. Wings are meant to spread in awe, not be constrained by wires of limited vision and outdated beliefs.

I choose freedom. This is my life. Every person has their own life, their own path, and I will not sacrifice mine to appease those who failed to carve their own way. My life—the only thing truly mine—will not be subjugated to the will of those who squandered their own potential through ignorance, irresponsibility, and neglect in the pursuit in acquiring a strong mindset free of weakness.

This freedom is not fun, and I feel its rewards are thousands of miles away, but I couldn’t have it any other way. By rejecting conformity and breaking free of the weaknesses and limitations of this mind, I am claiming the life I desire. It is a choice, and it is mine to make.