For quite some time, I have not been engaging in social life or attending meetings outside of work and home. Due to the expenses I had to cover over the past few months, I was saving as much money as possible, avoiding spending on buses, events, and other outings. Additionally, I was more focused on executing my own plans than on going out and making small talk with strangers. I didn’t want to waste any time.
Unfortunately, as much as I wish I could be a robot—downloading all the information I need into my brain, never sleeping, never eating, and never socializing—I am human. The lack of social interaction eventually caught up with me to the point where I could no longer ignore it. So now, I attend different meetings regularly each week—again. Not because I want to, but because I need to. My brain, deprived of social interaction, started seeking sedation in other ways—snacking every day, craving sweets, or wanting entertainment instead of focusing on work. Once it reached that point, ignoring it was no longer an option because my plans were at risk.
We are a social species, and I can’t deny it. No more sedation—things were beginning to spiral out of control. I was eating almost a pack of small chips every day, sometimes two at work from a dispenser, plus Pringles now and again from the nearby grocery store. Unbelievable.
Aside from that, I finally have all my supplements. For a long time, I realized that thoughts alone cannot fundamentally change personality. When faced with situations that trigger fear, stress, or certain emotional states, no amount of repeated affirmations or rationalizations can override the raw chemical reactions happening in the brain. Fear, after all, is just brain chemistry. That’s why I see it as crucial not to rely anymore solely on thoughts and self-empowerment—often bordering on self-indoctrination—but to incorporate various supplements as well.
Ashwagandha, NAC, Ginkgo Biloba, GABA, L-Theanine, and many more. Plus, all the vitamins my body needs, taken daily. Not only to provide the body with essential nutrients but also to stabilize and balance brain chemistry—regulating cortisol levels, for example—so I can become the real version of myself. Not a chemically imbalanced version, weak and distorted by deficiencies. I don’t want that. So I use everything available: mindset, supplements, vitamins, and something I’m currently building on the horizon—symbolism and spirituality.
I’m not talking about following ancient religious systems that have lost their essence and purpose over thousands of years. I mean something with true meaning behind it. Through careful reflection and observation of the mind itself, I’ve come to understand why we humans created icons, gods, symbols, and rituals—and I intend to use that process for what it was originally meant for. As for the religious systems in the world today, perhaps they once held real meaning, before devolving into empty, repetitive practices and a jumble of theories and concepts. But I digress.
Now, strengthened by chemistry, mindset, and both stronger internal and external awareness, I’m ready to fulfil the plan of every day more effectively. At the same time I’m ready for the next phase: personal spirituality built with purpose and a true understanding of what it’s all about. This will allow me to manage my brain’s processes from the inside even better, using a mirror of symbols and certain methods of mental reshaping. Some might mistake it for meditation, but to me, meditation doesn’t exist—it’s just a word covering a million vague definitions. I prefer my own phrasing: mental reprogramming.
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