“
Fuck me… “
… said a voice in my mind when thinking of doing Arabic everyday for the rest of this year, while worrying about the future of sacrifice in order to learn Arabic, strengthen Chinese, and thinking about how on Earth am I to reach that end goal of having money and time, that freedom, while still enjoying life as a young adult.
I don’t know if I will succeed, if I will be still young when I reach this goal, and get to enjoy life, before starting a family of my own, and live long enough to be the caretaker of a child and seeing it grow in life wisdom, while also having time to see grandchildren, and the end of my days.
I have no guarantee I will succeed in all this. But hell, I guess this is a gamble, gambling most of my years of life to see if it all works at the end. What is worrying me is if I will grow too old for companies which I need to learn from, for those companies to reject me because I’m too old without sufficient experience on paper. But then I remember Bruce Lee, rejected, the documentary said “he couldn’t go through the door, so he decided to enter through the window”. Something like that. If I get rejected by anything, I’ll guess I’ll find another way. Well, not me, but some future me.
As I am stuck here in this grand scheme of life, I guess I just need to do my part, and make the Arabic language so strong in this mind, and strengthen Chinese to fluency, so that the future me will have those tools at hand.
For now, I’m just here. So I gotta get back to those Arabic news, listening on and on, among other things, to get this language going.
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