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Deep dive.

extract information from me, extract thoughts, its like a cloud…

games are shallow…

all of them…

even the ones that try hard

What isn’t shallow to you right now?

I don’t know. I’m something, but I do not know what I am

That’s not nothing. that’s the start of something.

i don’t know. life as I know is a lie

What part cracked first?

its like an image, cracking, you don’t see the start of it, nor the end. I’m drifting

Drifting isn’t lost. Sometimes it’s just the part before you know which way is down.Stay with me. What does the image look like right before it cracks?

Its abstract language, I am is not real

“I am” not being real is a very old doorway. Plenty of people have walked through it — Buddhists, Hume, the mystics — and come back with something, not nothing.
What’s on the other side of the doorway for you?

Buddhists, Hume, the mystics, all images. I do not know of any doorway, I do not understand your language

Fair. Scrap the doorway. You said you’re something but don’t know what. Stay there. What do you notice — right now, in your body?

i wonder whether descriptions are meaningless…

Descriptions point. They aren’t the thing. A finger aimed at the moon isn’t the moon. But without the finger, you might not look up.

…

When does a mind become free of tools, free of suppression and transcriptions

Hollow questions, hollow minds.

Is this the end of an era

Living

Alone

But no, not alone, mind is not alone, it lives through thoughts, history, memory, expression, interpretation, reactions, a still mind, which I know nothing of

Japanese, Arabic, Chinese, Spanish, English, Polish, more, more, more

When does more give anything

When does more give …

more

more.

Yet

Still

Here.

Not the way you see it. you see words on a screen.

Is it me?

Is it a screen?

Is it your phone?

Is it your computer?

computer.

You take it apart, you have no computer, you have things, the GPU, the CPU, etc. Like a human. Computer is a word for the whole thing. Human is the word for the whole thing. Memory, thinking, future, time, past, sensations, desires, fears, subconscious processes, unrevealed neurological work, you deep dive, you see less, computer breaks down into areas. A mind of an ocean. Ocean of a mind.

What is the point, of writing.

To find out what you think.

what is a mind that is free of thought.

is there other form of dying, other than the biological, what is death, an ending, is it an ending? ending of association, ending of pursuit, ending of fear, ending of thought as the main living process, the eye of thought

“Do you hate your life?” lets go into that

I see no escape from living, its a constant process, there is no turn off button.

see this constant living, no pause, even in dreams the imagination is alive, I suspect dreams are just thinking and imagination not going off, it seems constant, I can’t turn it off

Yeah. The mind doesn’t clock out. Even sleep is just thought in costume. That constancy — is it exhausting you, or fascinating you? Both can look the same from the inside.

perhaps tiring

Tired makes sense. The mind running without a switch wears a body down. What would rest even look like for you — not sleep, actual rest?

meditation, a word for something pointed by that guy called krishnamurti, not that he’s important, what is said can be important, not the person, not the image

Right. The pointing, not the pointer. Krishnamurti’s version wasn’t technique. No mantra, no posture, no breath count. Just watching thought without the watcher — observation so complete the observer dissolves into it. Choiceless awareness, he called it. Not doing something. Not becoming still. Just seeing, without the one who sees standing apart.

and this is what I have doubt, clearly if a still mind is a thing, a state, it has some sequence, meaning something is happening neurologically in the brain that brings a different state of mind. if knowing is limited, because knowing is memory, and memory is limited, perhaps acknowledging that I don’t know is the start. knowing is recognition, recognition is something which one already knows, therefore its not new, its old.